Connection?

Hello out there

Would you care to share?

Please don’t stare

I don’t mean to scare

I’m only reaching out for connection

Or perhaps a desire for affection

Nevertheless

I confess

I probably seem so full of despair

For I am aware

There’s no need to compare

They have yet to declare

My sanity

Hello out there?

Is the connection getting through?

What other way could I construe?

My view

I didn’t even get to..

Perhaps we can begin anew?

Pleased to-do

Shall we share our world view?

Or perhaps you’d like to chat about the weather..

I like the sun too

It helps me get through

And warms the sad in my heart

What a great start

Maybe you could tell me

What you would like to be

Oh, you don’t want to see?

What you could be?

But if it were me..

Oh I see

Yes, I have a dog as well

He’s so very swell

Always yearing for connection

Oh yours is demanding?

Always searching for affection?

How terrible that seems..

Is he often alone?

I should have known

What’s that I say?

Oh sorry nothing

No I’m not blushing

What a lovely discussion

What a great way to pass time

Though perhaps not what I had in mind

The world its seems is blind

Unkind

And terribly unrefined

Honestly I’m disinclined

To converse any further

I should have stayed an observer

With my hands at my sides

I have no more to confide

At least I can say I tried

To meet you

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Still Waters

Normally when I write I do so verse by verse. Adding a metaphor here and a rhyme there. Tonight though it seems, there are no songs of poetry in my heart. There is only clouded confusion that even a sonnet can not cure. At a glance you could call me young, you could even call me naïve. But do not pretend to know the contents of my heart nor the character of my soul for I have lived a life of torment flaked with a happiness that could make you weep. They say that adversity makes us strong, that walking the line of agony and choosing to feel the sun once more leaves you changed. Then I am changed indeed, for as long as I can remember my heart has been plagued with sadness. I was thrown into the deep heavy waters of betrayal and abuse with my hands bound behind my back and my feet weighed down by shackles of steal. Screaming and begging to the heavens for mercy I thrashed amongst the cold hands of fate, yet all I received were turned backs and silence. I was given a choice, a life of perpetuating my suffering and dragging others into the drowning waters—or a life of breaking the bonds of life’s lessons and learning to swim. I treaded water for what felt like eons, but then I realized something tremendous. I could float. There were even people all around me helping to lift me to the surface, helping to hold my head above water. I do not mean to write these words all in a row to fill your heart with sadness. I mean only to say that the current is heavy tonight and I am weary. The air seems stagnant and thick as I move about with a mind filled with chaos, a picture reel of days gone past echo through my bedroom threatening to send me back to moments that have blackened my heart. Though this air of melancholy has swept me up into her familiar arms, I feel a hope, for as familiar as she may be, I know also her sister, joy. For she often visits me in the form of a hot cup of tea, my lovers smile, and the sun on my skin as winter is just beginning to break. I have come to accept that I am both pure agony and savage ecstasy all in one. How ever high my branches reach, my roots must grow just as deep. So, on this night of rocky waters, I am off to bed dreaming of the still waters of tomorrow.

The Beast

Abandoned and betrayed

She wandered the shadows

Aimless and alone

Like a flower near death

She was parched for affection

Yearning for connection

Betrayed by her protection

Stabbed in the back

By the six-letter word she now lacked

Family

Love replaced with an agony

 That had driven her toward insanity

Treated so callously

She accepted the fallacy

And gave herself over to the melancholy song in her heart

That’s where he found her

Engulfed in the shadows

Lashing out like a caged beast

He sat with her until her sorrow released

As she wept the skies wept too

For the beast with fangs and nails

Was really a girl who had grown too frail

From the treachery of life

He saw this, but he saw also the might

That she was given from a life of fight

And through his eyes he reflected her light

Until her heart thawed and she took off in flight

From her back he pulled the knife

As he declared for her to reclaim her life

Sometimes the demons they call to her

They dangle her sadness out on a lure

But with the knife he pulled from her back

She is always ready to attack

The darkness that creeps in

He knows she will always win

Against the sadness in her heart

 

Sanity

I weep for us

For all of us

So disconnected and longing

Endlessly searching

For the answers never found

My tears fall for you

My fellow kin

We reach but do not touch

Look but do not see

I am you and you are me

Yet each of us

Seems bound in isolation

Running blindfolded in the dark

Frantically flittering about

So full of anger and discontent

My heart is heavy with your sorrows

My chest is tight with your grief

For I have stopped in the dark

And there I sit alone

Watching those darting about me

Yet when I reach out to touch

All I see are blank faces staring back

Void and shallow

Their depth whittled away

Eons ago

By the bonds of misery

So here I sit

Mending my own light

Grasping to my bits of sanity

Dreaming of the day we all finally see

Between the sheets

Closed eyes

Muted tongues

Soft morning grumbles

An outstretched hand

A warm embrace

Gentle mornings tease

Skin to skin

From worlds apart

Returning in unity

Soft suns glow

Snoozed alarms

Reluctant to return to sanity

Forehead to forehead

A deep souls gaze

Tranquility between the sheets

Loves Blossoms

Like countless spring storms

I shall water you

I shall pluck the weeds

That threaten your roots

And ensure that the suns rays

Always find their way to you

Even on the cloudy days

And as you grow so shall I

Alongside you

As I water you, so you water I

Our roots entangling

Until there is no beginning nor end

Just blossoms upon sweet blossoms

Of multicolored flowers

That no bee could resist

For they were foraged

From the sweet nectar of our love

Wings of an Angel

Walking through the shadows

Broken glass beneath my feet

Tis not a fate I had desired to meet

Demons amongst me

Their twisted smiles all that I see

They taunted and they teased me

Before I knew what I could be

 I clawed at my back

Tore its skin and its flesh

With a deafening crack

Bursting forth from my back

Were wings of midnight black

I soared out of the shadows

Pulled the glass from my feet

I was now an angel those demons wouldn’t want to meet

An Angels Whisper

The curtain is withdrawn, the truth revealed

The meaning of life as they say, is no longer concealed

I put down my shield

As I yield

Engrossed in a state of ecstasy

Baffled at the complexity

I feel unease beneath my bones

Almost uttered is a moan

As all that was once unknown

Now is clearly shown

My soul lurches forward in objection

Dissevered is the connection

To vast is it for I

To hold within my mind’s eye

As my understanding disappears

I almost seem to overhear

An angels eerie whisper

Between my lips escapes a whimper

As the curtain is drawn

I am left to face the dawn

Trembling as if I were a new born fawn

 

 

The Silent Scream

Invisible wounds

Beneath my flesh

Tear soaked screams

That utter no sound

This is not profound

It is truth

Etched beneath my skin

An act done in passing whim

Is my reason for every glass of gin

For he was my kin

So now I lay upon the floor

Asking myself ever more

Why can’t you hear me screaming?

Why don’t you see the wounds?

I should not be the one forced into redeeming

Don’t act as if life can be resumed

My entire being was consumed

I am left hollow and aching

Why can’t I stop this shaking?

This is endless madness

These wounds won’t heal

My innocence was never yours to steal

It all still seems so surreal

Why have I been forced into this ordeal

Always trying to conceal

The silent scream within me

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