Broken Yet Whole

And so

I learned to breath myself in

To tread lightly around the melancholy meadows that surround my heart

For there are flowers in that sad, sweet meadow

Flowers and broken things

But mostly flowers

I learned to care for myself

To speak kindly and with understanding

For who could know I better than I

And along my journey within my mind

I found a little girl with out stretched arms

Begging to be held

So I took this pale child and I held her close

Rocked her as she sobbed

And as her tears flowed I found my own checks wet

She had been hiding within the darkness of my mind

She had made herself small

Spoke so quietly, trying to vanish

She almost did

So I yanked her out

Into the light

Where I held her tight

And vowed to never forget her

For though my thorns may cut you

My flowers are sweet to the smell

And though my walls will deter you

I leave a rope for you to climb

The mark of the wounded healer

Broken yet whole

Burdened yet free

Open yet closed

Black yet white

I see myself

Just as I see you

Perhaps maybe one day you can see too

Mirrors reflection

I dreamed a dream

Before the dawn

A dream of searching

A dream of seeking

I dreamed I stared into my eyes

Looking deeper

I locked eyes with the seeker

Mirrors reflection

Show me the truth

I must see proof

What am I

Am I made of embers light

A soft glow on a cold night

Or am I the chill

That steals your warmth

I dreamed a dream I saw myself

The shadows mixed with the light

No longer in a perpetual fight

They sighed

As they eased into each others arms

Yet the grey will never last

A letter to myself

To the girl I used to be

I’m sorry

That I could not see

That you would become me

That it was possible to gaze at the old oak tree

And feel free

I’m sorry

You did it alone

If I only would have known

Oh, how much I have grown

But what you faced was unknown

You did so well

Yes, I know we almost fell

There is no need to dwell

But I can still hear the way you used to yell

As you walked through hell

Lashing out to rebel

Now it seems we are parallel

And so I must say farewell

I will always hold you in my heart

As we should have held ourselves from the start

Maybe we needed to fall apart

But now it is time to restart

With lessons we can now impart

For every walk through life is a work of art

A work of art

What more can I say?

Never understanding are they

Perhaps they have forgotten they are made of clay

No I am not being cliché

Is there any way for me to convey

The contents of my heart?

Has been this way from the start

A colorful soul, a work of art

Yet eternally torn apart

Too smart

To be blind

To all those who are unkind

Reaching for solace within her presence of mind

Always left behind

Or too far ahead

Look into her eyes and see the dread

Undoubtedly she shall be misread

Perhaps you should have asked instead

Why do you weep?

What are you hiding in the deep?

Do you dream of lifetimes in your sleep?

The demons do they creep?

How do you fight them?

With kindness or hate?

What is it you desire for you fate?

This reality bares like a weight

Others they wish only to sedate

Instead I shall wait

And ride this wave until I reach the gate

Nothing wrong with being late

Connection?

Hello out there

Would you care to share?

Please don’t stare

I don’t mean to scare

I’m only reaching out for connection

Or perhaps a desire for affection

Nevertheless

I confess

I probably seem so full of despair

For I am aware

There’s no need to compare

They have yet to declare

My sanity

Hello out there?

Is the connection getting through?

What other way could I construe?

My view

I didn’t even get to..

Perhaps we can begin anew?

Pleased to-do

Shall we share our world view?

Or perhaps you’d like to chat about the weather..

I like the sun too

It helps me get through

And warms the sad in my heart

What a great start

Maybe you could tell me

What you would like to be

Oh, you don’t want to see?

What you could be?

But if it were me..

Oh I see

Yes, I have a dog as well

He’s so very swell

Always yearing for connection

Oh yours is demanding?

Always searching for affection?

How terrible that seems..

Is he often alone?

I should have known

What’s that I say?

Oh sorry nothing

No I’m not blushing

What a lovely discussion

What a great way to pass time

Though perhaps not what I had in mind

The world its seems is blind

Unkind

And terribly unrefined

Honestly I’m disinclined

To converse any further

I should have stayed an observer

With my hands at my sides

I have no more to confide

At least I can say I tried

To meet you

The Beast

Abandoned and betrayed

She wandered the shadows

Aimless and alone

Like a flower near death

She was parched for affection

Yearning for connection

Betrayed by her protection

Stabbed in the back

By the six-letter word she now lacked

Family

Love replaced with an agony

 That had driven her toward insanity

Treated so callously

She accepted the fallacy

And gave herself over to the melancholy song in her heart

That’s where he found her

Engulfed in the shadows

Lashing out like a caged beast

He sat with her until her sorrow released

As she wept the skies wept too

For the beast with fangs and nails

Was really a girl who had grown too frail

From the treachery of life

He saw this, but he saw also the might

That she was given from a life of fight

And through his eyes he reflected her light

Until her heart thawed and she took off in flight

From her back he pulled the knife

As he declared for her to reclaim her life

Sometimes the demons they call to her

They dangle her sadness out on a lure

But with the knife he pulled from her back

She is always ready to attack

The darkness that creeps in

He knows she will always win

Against the sadness in her heart

 

Sanity

I weep for us

For all of us

So disconnected and longing

Endlessly searching

For the answers never found

My tears fall for you

My fellow kin

We reach but do not touch

Look but do not see

I am you and you are me

Yet each of us

Seems bound in isolation

Running blindfolded in the dark

Frantically flittering about

So full of anger and discontent

My heart is heavy with your sorrows

My chest is tight with your grief

For I have stopped in the dark

And there I sit alone

Watching those darting about me

Yet when I reach out to touch

All I see are blank faces staring back

Void and shallow

Their depth whittled away

Eons ago

By the bonds of misery

So here I sit

Mending my own light

Grasping to my bits of sanity

Dreaming of the day we all finally see

Between the sheets

Closed eyes

Muted tongues

Soft morning grumbles

An outstretched hand

A warm embrace

Gentle mornings tease

Skin to skin

From worlds apart

Returning in unity

Soft suns glow

Snoozed alarms

Reluctant to return to sanity

Forehead to forehead

A deep souls gaze

Tranquility between the sheets

Loves Blossoms

Like countless spring storms

I shall water you

I shall pluck the weeds

That threaten your roots

And ensure that the suns rays

Always find their way to you

Even on the cloudy days

And as you grow so shall I

Alongside you

As I water you, so you water I

Our roots entangling

Until there is no beginning nor end

Just blossoms upon sweet blossoms

Of multicolored flowers

That no bee could resist

For they were foraged

From the sweet nectar of our love

Wings of an Angel

Walking through the shadows

Broken glass beneath my feet

Tis not a fate I had desired to meet

Demons amongst me

Their twisted smiles all that I see

They taunted and they teased me

Before I knew what I could be

 I clawed at my back

Tore its skin and its flesh

With a deafening crack

Bursting forth from my back

Were wings of midnight black

I soared out of the shadows

Pulled the glass from my feet

I was now an angel those demons wouldn’t want to meet